All Sloan, all the time – even at Wal-Mart

Just when you thought we couldn’t write anything else about Jerry Sloan …

As I watched most of Tuesday night’s ugly come-from-behind 99-96 win over Minnesota, I couldn’t help but think: “Man, I’m glad I get the Food Network, because I’d be kinda ticked if I paid my satellite company extra money just so I could watch this level of lacklusterness.”
(The red dotted line is telling me that lacklusterness is not actually a word, but it in my blogctionary it is. Oops, there’s that annoying red line again.)
What I was really thinking was: “I bet Coach Sloan would rather till hard, rocky Illinois fields with his fingernails or give Greg Ostertag a neck massage than watch his players sleep-walk against a terrible team like this.”
And then “The Comeback” started.
Now I think this game actually ended up being a nice 20th anniversary tribute to Sloan. It wasn’t pretty. His players toughed it out and gave major effort down the stretch. And they won.
Forget the China – the traditional gift for this year, as I’m sure you know because you read my story in Tuesday’s paper - he’ll take this type of present any day.

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Speaking of Sloan – and, yes, that seems to be all we do these days – I thought about him while shopping at Wal-Mart the other day.
Reporters and coaches/players don’t exactly exchange gifts, but if we did I now know exactly what I’ll get him: A John Deere lunch pail.
Seriously. They sell these at Wal-Mart – in the Christmas section even, literally between the Little Mermaid-Cinderella-Belle snow globe and the blinking lights that probably don’t (blinkety-blinking) blink.
And it wasn’t just a lunch box like I used to take to elementary school, either. They had John Deere ornaments and decorations and all sorts of other gadgets.
Forget the China – the traditional gift for this year, as I’m sure you know because you read my story in Tuesday’s paper and the first item in this blog – he’ll take this type of present any day.

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Speaking of Sloan and presents, I asked him and Phil Johnson, who was hired as his assistant coach on Dec. 11, 1988, if they intended on giving each other 20th anniversary presents.
The coaching pals, who both have a fondness for farming, looked at me like I’d just asked them if potatoes grow on trees. (They don’t, turns out.)
Parts of their comments weren’t quotable in a family blog (OK, slight exaggeration), but to sum up their answers in very printable form: “HECK NO!”
They did go have steak – and ate it, too – in Minneapolis.

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I killed a couple of hours poring over a few papers from December 1988. Who knew you could have so much fun with microfilm!?! OK, besides librarians?
Here are a few interesting leftover tidbits from 20 years ago:
– Karl Malone wrote “Frank” in marker on the back of his Cons hightops for the first game of Jerry Sloan’s head coaching gig with the Jazz. Malone credited Frank Layden, whom Sloan replaced in his early season promotion, for helping boost his career. At the time The Mailman said, “I’ll tell you what, I’m still in shock. I have to get over the fact that Frank’s not here. The timing of the situation is off. … It was really hard to look over (at the bench) and not see him there.”
– Utah football coach Jim Fassel’s name was being linked to the vacant Stanford job … Lynn Archibald-coached Utah basketball team snapped a four-game losing streak vs. Weber State … Indians traded Julio Franco – yes, that same one! – to Texas … young hockey player named Theoren Fleury starting to become star for the Golden Eagles.
– Jazz roster included: John Stockton, Karl Malone, Thurl Bailey, Mike Brown, Mark Eaton, Darrell Griffith, Marc Iavaroni, Bart Kofoed, Bobby Hansen, Eric Leckner, Jim Les, Jose Ortiz and Scott Roth.
– In his column “Frank Layden did it his way – he hired himself, then fired himself,” D-News sports editor Lee Benson wrote of Sloan’s predecessor:
“He was not a cerebral coach. He did not give interviews in Xs and Os. He was an emotional coach. At his best, he was a walking, talking inspiration show.
“He turned himself into easily the No. 1 sports celebrity in Salt Lake City. …
“He had problems with fickle fans, disloyal commissioners, incompetent referees and prima donna players.
“Other than that, he might have coached forever.”
– The Jazz had a significant injury back then, too, as guard Bobby Hansen was dealing with a broken hand.
– Finally, showing just how consistent Sloan has been for 20 years, check out this quote following his first game as the head honcho in the Salt Palace.
“I’m probably as proud of these guys as I’ll be, all the time I’m coaching,” Sloan said. “They really played hard.”
By the way, the Jazz made a valiant rally but lost to the Dallas Mavericks 97-89 in that now historic Dec. 9, 1988 game.
That’s the biggest thing Sloan has demanded from his players ever since – that they play hard.
For Sloan, the outcome doesn’t matter nearly as much as the output.