My Top 10 tongue-in-cheek reasons why the Utah Jazz just might “shock the world” (as Al Jefferson and Gordon Hayward put it) and pull off the upset over the heavily favored San Antonio Spurs:
9. Talented Spurs forward Manu Ginobili unable to play after breaking his flopula in a dramatic display.
8. Eva Longoria becomes a Jazz Dancer and distracts Spurs.
7. Last time Jazz, winners of five straight, ended a season on a winning streak, they went to the NBA Finals (4-0 in 1997).
6. Last time Josh Howard and Devin Harris were on the same playoff team together, they went to the NBA Finals (Mavericks in 2006).
5. In a ravenous moment, San Antonio’s beefy Boris Diaw mistakes Tony Parker for a French fry.
4. Aging Spurs suffer unfortunate repercussions after accidentally overdosing on Metamucil.
3. Tim Duncan’s eyeballs literally pop out of their sockets (think: Large Marge) while protesting a referee’s call.
2. Spurs unwittingly contracted tankitis from the Warriors after playing them in Thursday’s regular-season finale.
1. Resting his Big Three for the second round backfires on Spurs coach Gregg Popovich.